Try Again Someday

Across the street
there she stood, as always.

Five years have passed
and I am just noticing her
yesterday, today and
in the coming tomorrows.

She comes,
and goes and returns
back
after her eight hour shift;

I, in the meantime...

sit, walk and smoke
and speak those three
half-a-decade old lines in my mind.

There I almost convince her, and
lead her to our first date.

But, the moment...

WHEN I SEE HER

I find myself
struggling with tornadoes, hurricanes and volcanoes.

The insides swirl, twist and erupt, but,
what should have- doesn't.

A little smile, embarassed-on-the-self type curves
which in itself is so poor, that-
it attracts only
her piteous awe.

Of all things, there are two that I often think:
1. Has it really been 5 years of cowardice?
2. Is she the bigger fool or I?

Today, it is new year's day,
...and I will make it-

H.O.P.E.F.U.L.L.Y.

No, POSITIVELY.

YES, D.E.F.I.N.I.T.E.L.Y.

There she comes,
in yellows and blues
and I feel that tickle inside.

A little rat scurrying in my belly
distracting me.
A fly, with its dirty buzzing
somewhere in  my brain-
not letting me recall those lines.
An elephant squeezing my heart, with its giant feet-
I feel suffocated.

STOP I SAY.

SHOO AWAY YOU BASTARDS!

LET ME DO IT TODAY.

Nothing survives, though.

But, the butt...

and I take another drag, as I see her diminish in the stretch.

Her hips shaking in the distance and teasing-

TRY AGAIN SOMEDAY!