Goodbye Sinus

Day 01: Oct 9th, 2014

As I write this a hundred thoughts are running in my skull, ranging from what does an operation feel like to will it trouble me? The attendant has already stuffed my nostrils with local anesthesia gauges and parts of me have already started feeling numb. I am lying on my side, writing what I feel as the pre-effects of my nasal surgery.

I am down half a liter glucose through my left arm and the needle still sticks there with the adhesive tape, giving me jerks of pain as I try to put my hand into some activity. A patient rolls out of the operation theater on a stretcher, his skull wrapped in white. He is operated for his right ear two positions prior to me. I tried asking him how he felt, but perhaps he didn't hear or was uncomfortable in responding back.

I wonder what will it be all like? Based on a brief Google research, I sketched the procedure of my surgery, that makes me feel excited about the coming things. I am almost half an hour away from entering the O.T, and I am wondering why is it called a 'theatre'?

Perhaps it will be fun, or else It'll be just a step towards relief. In these last minutes, before I am separated from my 24 year old ally 'Sinus', I thank you for all these mucus filled years. These thunderstorm experiences that I've had within me and those innumerable free balloons that I grew up inflating from my nose. I thank you for your never departing companionship that made me unique amongst my family, cousins and friends. I thank you for those restlessness moments that you gave me, those moments of lazy ness and ugliness.

It's time now to depart. Goodbye Sinus!

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Day 02: Oct 10th, 2014

It's been almost 24 hours, my nostrils are stuffed with as much gauges as can be stuffed in. It is a state of immense discomfort, I am breathing through my mouth with hopes that soon I'll be relieved.

Last night, when I entered the operation theatre, the attendant instructed me to lie down on the operation desk. I did as told with a feeling of fear mixed with curiosity. In my initial moments I was relaxed and unworried, knowing that it wouldn't pain and the doctors would take all measures to keep the surgery painless. But the aura inside the O.T started creeping doubts and fears into me. There were four doctors discussing someone's failed operation. To my understanding, fortunately it was all about a fifth doctor (who wasn't present inside the room), but unfortunately it was a failed operation. My thoughts of before entering the O.T started changing shape and big hallucinating fears started creeping in.

I looked around at the doctors, a thin man seated beside me was the most loud man. Another bald fellow sitting directly opposite my legs nodded and agreed to whatever the first guy said. The third one was seated further left of the thin one, busy in his own cup of tea and talking occasionally. However the fourth, the one who was treating me was busy preparing for the surgery, explaining others about my 'case' (as they referred to it). They were all relaxed and happy, talking loudly and sipping tea after every two statements. They even seemed ready to work upon me.

After ten minutes the thin doctor suggested my doctor to begin the surgery. They mutually agreed and covered me under a green cloth, covering my eyes and only leaving the nose exposed. Vibes of what-will-happen-now started flowing through my veins and I lay there worried and scared as a few blades and scissors clashed near my ear.

They began with an injection, indeed two injections- both of them simultaneously from either sides inside the nostrils. Within minutes the tissues went numb and they began their discourse of how-to-proceed and long steel things started creeping in and out of my nose. Sometimes there was a scratch, sometimes a stroke, sometimes a few repeated strokes and sometimes harsh scratching. Seldom I could hear the breaking noise of bone pieces and then those being placed out on a tray.

It took them some fifteen minutes before they finally unwrapped me from the green cloth and I was taken back to the ward on a stretcher. It was a contrary moment to that when I had gone inside. Earlier when I had entered the OT, I was whole, energised and vigorous, now I felt incomplete and stuffed excessively with gauges and deprived of my strength.

I lay in the ward listening to my relatives, their interpretation of what might have happened inside. Finally the doctor came out and showed the bone pieces that he had extracted out of my nose. There were 5-6 pieces in a steel tray (the one that is usually seen in movies when Amitabh or Summy Deol is cured off a bullet) ranging from a minimum of 1 cm to almost a maximum of 3-4 cms.

Finally after two hours of rest, I was discharged last night (same time) and since then I am on my bed, fidgeting and breathing through my mouth, with just hopes that day after tomorrow these gauges will be removed and I'll inhale..... Just like YOU do!